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Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 5, Episode 11
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the eleventh episode of the fifth series. Key *'HD' – Hugh Dennis *'AP' – Andy Parsons *'FB' – Frankie Boyle *'RH' – Russell Howard *'MM' – Michael McIntyre *'BN' – Ben Norris Topics Unlikely Things For a Royal Correspondent To Say *'FB:' Isn't it wonderful to see Prince Charles being made king at the age of 137. *'AP:' And the Queen there majestically taking her place in the queue to withdraw her savings from Northern Rock. *'HD:' The Queen asked me if I was from the BBC and I said I was. And she told me to piss off. *'AP:' There we see Prince Phillip going over to talk to man from China. This should be interesting. *'MM:' In fact it's the Chinese premier, and he's just asked him for a menu. *'FB:' Prince Harry hasn't been put off by the congestion charge. He says he still manages to come into Chelsea twice a day. *'HD:' Well the crowd are absolutely loving this event, the night sky is dancing with light! Yes, the Queen set fire to Windsor Castle again! *'FB:' It's great to see the whole family waving from the balcony... through the sights of my AK-47. *'HD:' And as Prince Phillip cuts the tape to open this mental institution... the doctors have got him! What a Rugby Commentator Would Never Say *'HD:' Oh and he's skipped through the defence and that's lucky because if these South Sea Islanders catch you, they eat you. *'FB:' Time for the scrum where the players can have a quick kiss, and exchange phone numbers. *'AP:' And it's the coin toss, and Johnny Wilkinson has sprained his thumb! *'HD:' And that is a massive tackle. Wish mine was like that. *'FB:' Not everyone's been able to get tickets to this World Cup final, and we know a lot of you are watching at home, so hello to you, the England team. *'HD:' Oh, and it's bad news for New Zealand: Rugby doesn't matter. *'BN:' And keep an eye on this ball as it hits the ground cos it's such an unusual shape it could go anywhere! *'AP:' (Imitating New Zealand haka) ''CILLIT BANG! CILLIT BANG! KIA ORA! KIA ORA! *'FB:' All pretence has been abandoned as both teams take to the field naked covered in lubricant to the sound of pounding techno. *'RH:' Thick muscular necks, broken noses and powerful thighs. The rugby wives are minging. *'FB:' This young man has a brilliant playing career ahead of him, followed by a bleak career as an after dinner speaker before his suicide at 40. *'HD:' Well he is in many ways the perfect fly-half: legs of a human, torso of a blue bottle. *'RH:' The South Africans their passing to their one black player, Johnny Token. *'HD:''' So it's England versus Samoa. A team of rank amateurs against Samoa! Category:Scenes We'd Like To See